Error Importing DB

I've been struggling with this for 2 days. I can't import a db after installing JM. I get this error:

DELIMITER $$--
-- Procedures
--
CREATE DEFINER = `root`@`localhost` PROCEDURE `s4g01_TeraWurfl_FallBackDevices` ( current_fall_back VARCHAR( 64 ) ) BEGIN WHILE current_fall_back != 'root' DO SELECT capabilities
FROM s4g01_TeraWurflMerge
WHERE deviceID = current_fall_back;

SELECT fall_back
FROM s4g01_TeraWurflMerge
WHERE deviceID = current_fall_back
INTO current_fall_back;

END WHILE;

END$$

MySQL said: Documentation
#1227 - Access denied; you need the SUPER privilege for this operation

I've uninstalled JM through Manage Extensions. No dice. I've removed every component and table from this package. I've installed a new Joomla installation and tried to recover through Akeeba. No dice. I just want to get my site back. How can I remove every reference to Joomla Mobile in the hopes of just returning my site to normal. So frustrated!

I have a working copy of my site on my PC but just can't upload it to the web. What the heck happened?